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Stuck

Is there such a thing as Blogger’s Block? If so, I think I have it. I don’t know if I’ve been drinking too many dirty martinis lately, the Polar Vortex is screwing with me, or I’ve consumed one too many Nutrisystem muffins, but lately, I’ve got nothin’. I’ve been told that you get better at this by doing it more, but my brain seems to be saying, “Nope. Let’s think about pie!”.

Maybe I need to go to Walden Pond.

Or get some three-toed cats.

I dunno. Blogging is hard.

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Posted by on February 2, 2014 in Humor

 

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Baby, It’s HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I NEED MORE LAYERS Outside

I-dont-always-use-solar-vortex

Whew. What a week. I apologize for my lack of pointless blogs, dear two people who read this, but you see, I’ve been very busy doing important things, like dieting and trying not to kill anyone or gnaw their appendages off out of rage and/or hunger. In addition, as I’m sure you’re all aware, it was a very busy week of battling Polar Vortexes. Vortices? Whatever. Yeesh. Who knew a Polar Vortex could be such a giant asshole? I’d actually never heard of a Polar Vortex prior to this week, and figured that it was as good a time as any to start educating myself on these things. I mean, I was picturing, like, a giant polar bear in a wizard outfit, but it turns out I was completely off. After my hours of laborious research, here are my findings:

Persistent cyclone, troposphere, stratosphere, Equator, poles, cold core low pressure, blah blah blah…

I dunno, I got bored. Way too many words. In short, I think what it really means ‘HOLY SHIT IT’S COLD, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STAY IN YOUR JAMMIES’.

See? Now you’re all prepared for the next one. You are welcome.

Love,

Paula In The Country

 
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Posted by on January 10, 2014 in Humor

 

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