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A Brand New Paula In The Country!


Hey everyone! So, as you are aware (because I know I have surely been missed in the blogging world) (or not) (whatever), I have taken what seems like a long hiatus from blogging. You see, I think my problem was that I lacked directionality. And, well, crappy things sort of happened to me that made me reprioritize stuff. There was that, too. But the other night I was lying awake and thought to myself, “Man, Paula. We’re bored. We need something fun and creative to do so we don’t go nuts. By the way, we’re really hungry, too.”. And this, folks, is how my brand new blog called Cook It. Eat It. Repeat It. was born. Thus far, I’m having way too much fun with it, and much more is in store. So follow me over there! Please? I’ll give you all a dollar. Or my neverending gratitude. One of those. Probably the latter. What more do you people want from me?!?!

Ok, I am now done being melodramatic. Come visit me here!

http://cookiteatitrepeatit.wordpress.com/

Sincerely,

Paula In The Country

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2014 in Humor

 

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The Day The Keebler Elves Died (Or Something Like That)

keebler1

Today was a very traumatic day in the life of Paula In The Country. It’s a little difficult for me to talk about, but if you’ll allow me to collect myself for a  minute, I’ll try…

Aaaand… Done. Thank you.

Anyway… Today, at approximately 10:20am, I… Turned. Down. Cookies. That’s right. Cookies. FREE cookies, even. Now, some of you may be thinking to yourselves, “I turn down cookies all the time, what’s the big deal?”. Well, you people are not Paula In The Country. So zip it, you skinny bastards. Sorry I was combative there. Not really. It’s the lack of cookies. It’s making me cranky. Anyway, like I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by skinny bastards… This does not happen to me. I always want cookies ALWAYS. If there were a Carbs Anonymous, I’d have to go at the frequency with which I go to church, at least. Actually, way more than that, since I never go to church unless there are free snacks promised. Which doesn’t happen as often as it should, frankly. I’d probably sneak in a few miniature Kit Kats or something to the Carbs Anonymous meeting, too. Also free crackers I stole from the salad bar I went to yesterday, because if I have to sit through an entire hour-long meeting, I at least need a salty snack AND dessert. I’m just sayin’. Anyhoo… I’m the girl who brings 2 grocery bags full of snacks for a  5 hour road trip, because apparently I have a deep-seated fear of my 2013 Nissan Versa breaking down in the harsh jungle of I-80 in Indiana, with rest stops and Subways approximately every 3 miles, and starving to death while trying to reach the nearest $5 footlong. I bring Tupperware to weddings so I can steal unattended dinner rolls and cake while everyone’s teary-eyed and distracted by the daddy-daughter dance. Don’t judge me. So this… This just doesn’t happen to me. So if anyone needs me, I’ll be off reevaluating my entire life, and my commitment to desserts.

I’m sorry, Keebler Elves. Please don’t do anything rash. Let me work through this. Keep on Elving… Or whatever you do in those trees.

 

 
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Posted by on December 23, 2013 in Humor

 

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