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Hey Baby, You Lookin’ For A Date?

I’m a single girl, it’s Friday night, and you know what that means….

That’s right… Texas Chainsaw Massacre and microwave popcorn.

*Sigh*

You see, the thing that disturbs me the most about this is how content with it I am. I find it a little unnerving that I’d rather spend a Friday night on my couch than make an attempt to find a date. The older I get, the more difficult dating seems to become. In my experience, at 37 years old, the men I’ve found to be interested in me can be categorized as follows: 

1. The 20-Something Cougar Seeker. Pickup lines include: “You into one night stands?”, “Can you teach me some things?”, and, my personal favorite, “I’ll be your slave.”

2. The Newly Divorced Guy Who Wants To Play Around. Mr. ‘I suppose you’ll do for now, but I’m newly single and don’t really want a real relationship, but I don’t want to tell you that, because I’d like to get in your pants, but if I meet someone better, I’ll just disappear for a while, but I may be back later if things with this other girl go bad’. 

3. The 50+ Dude Trying To Nail A Younger Broad. Self-Explanatory.

4. The Clinger. One to two dates mean I’m his new girlfriend and potential bride. Which, in all reality, were I to meet the right person, wouldn’t be that horrible. But spending a few hours sharing some nachos and a couple rum & Cokes does not warrant a text the following day asking if me I miss you. Because it’s fairly likely that I miss the nachos more.

And… Yep. That pretty much sums up my dating life. But, no matter how bad it gets, I will forever hold out hope that the one for me is out there somewhere, maybe home on a Friday night writing a blog about someday meeting a girl exactly like me. And hopefully someday, our paths with cross, and we’ll be spending Friday nights watching horror movies together. He better keep his grubby hands off my popcorn if he wants to keep all of his fingers, though, the filthy bastard.

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Posted by on May 17, 2013 in Humor, Uncategorized

 

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