It occurred to me today, as I was participating in the time-suck we call Facebook, that there are a whole lot of cranky people out there. Frankly, I find it disturbing. Sure, I suppose our natural tendency as humans is to complain about stuff, and I’ll admit that I’m guilty of it myself on occasion. Usually at work after a night of insomnia and a morning of dealing with bad people. But as a whole, I really try to be happy, and positive, and cheerful, and annoying as crap, and to not take one single tiny thing for granted, and to say really dumb stuff to try to make people laugh, even if it’s just for a second, because a second of laughter is so much better than a second of being all frowny. Write this shit down. I’m spewing wisdom here. Someone should really consider carving my head into a mountain or something. I’m gonna get on that. You guys know any good mountain carvers? If so, hook me up. Anyway, right now, I’m going to share all the things that are making me extremely happy right at this very moment, because complaining is dumb.
1. I’m eating a pork chop with my hands like some sort of caveperson, and messy eating is just fun.
2. I got carded for wine today. 38 years old, what? Not me.
3. I have no bra on, and my boobs are like, “Ahhhhhhh.”.
4. There is sunshine on my big toe, which is greatly in need of a pedicure, which I may just have to do this weekend.
5. My little dog just sneezed a bit of pork chop on my leg, and that made me laugh.
6. I spy a bottle of Sweet Red with my name on it over there on the counter.
7. Nothing hurts. Not even the mysterious intermittent right buttcheek pain I’ve been experiencing the past day. Don’t ask me what that’s all about.
8. Spring flowers I bought last Sunday are still as fresh as the day I bought them, and brightening my dining room table.
9. All the bills sitting next to my computer are paid, and I even have money left over for some new Dr. Pepper flavored lip balm or somethin’.
10. I have a date with a very nice comic book artist next weekend, and he’s promised me the best cheeseburger in Chicago. I have high hopes for this burger. And for the date, I guess.
11. My family is all alive and well and crazy and all mine.
12. Imagine Dragons ‘On Top Of The World’ playing on my iPod, and it just makes me smile.
13. I don’t have to do a damn thing for the next 6 hours except plop my booty on the couch and watch a chick flick while drinking wine.
14. Life is just good.
There you have it, folks. If I haven’t sufficiently annoyed you with my happiness, then you’re probably just a robot. I’ll try harder next time. For now, though, it’s Wine Thirty. Pants are comin’ off, TV’s goin’ on. Do not disturb.