Tag Archives: humanity

Small Everyday Miracles. Or Something Like That.

Last Saturday night began a trend of me doing some really dumb stuff. I mean, more dumb than usual. And for me, that’s pretty damn dumb. It all started with 4pm Saturday afternoon Cosmos. I don’t normally like to drink that early on a Saturday (It’s a rule I have. No drinking before 5pm, and no eating after midnight. I watched Gremlins too many times growing up.), but the Cosmos were $3, and it’d just be un-American to pass up a deal like that, right? Right?? Validate my poor choices, damn it! Anyway… As I was saying, it all started there.

Very stupid thing I did #1: I left my phone on the bar in a college town dive bar. A bar which didn’t open again until 7pm the following evening. All day Sunday I was panicked, wondering if I did actually leave it, or if I dropped it in a gutter, or if some college punk took off with it and was touching himself to my sexy-librarian-glasses selfie.

Very stupid thing I did #2: Left my iPod on the seat of a rowing machine at the local YMCA. How the hell does that even happen? Must’ve been all those squats. Good for my butt, bad for my senility.

In the grand scheme of things, neither of these is a big deal. A phone, an iPod. Whatever. They can be replaced. But… You know what? I went back to that bar Sunday, and there was my phone, safely behind the bar. Not even a drop of vomit or any sticky substances on it. And my iPod? At the front desk of the YMCA, where some kind person had turned it in. Maybe they just weren’t into The Pussycat Dolls and 80’s music, but still. This is the kind of stuff that makes me smile.

Hey- It’s the little things, people.

Teeny tiny miracles. Love that shit.

Faith in humanity: Officially restored.


Posted by on March 29, 2014 in Humor, Life, Music


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Take Your Twerk And Shove It

This is my first attempt at a well thought-out blog post. I’m putting my smart person hat on. It kinda looks like a sombrero. Ok, it is a sombrero. So I look like a smart person who’s ready for some margaritas, which is fitting, actually.

I’d like to use this forum to rant a little. Not about my day, not about the government shut-down, not about the fact that I just inhaled some hot giardiniera and it’s not altogether pleasant… No, this rant is about modern society, and how it pisses me off. I’m not talking about the strides we’ve made in the way of equality in regards to race, religion, and sexual orientation- I love that society, generally speaking, of course, has become far more ‘live and let live’. What I’m referring to is the age of social media, instant gratification, and the seemingly lost art of conversation and interpersonality. I wish the world were simple again, like Andy Griffith and little Ronnie Howard going fishing in Mayberry. These days, little Ronnie Howard would probably slam the door in Andy’s face and tell him to fuck off so he could play X-Box. Wait… is X-Box still a thing? Whatever. You know what I mean. I miss when people took the time to sit down to write letters and send cards to each other instead of sending a poorly spelled text and writing a two-word greeting on their Facebook wall; When a boy would nervously call a girl and ask her out; When girls didn’t have sex before they got their driver’s licenses; When people held the door open for each other simply out of common courtesy; When families sat down for dinner together and spoke to each other with kindness. I miss the simple world. I miss humanity.

You ever sit in a mall and watch people? Besides seeing the occasional cute old man sleeping on a bench while his wife shops, mostly what you’ll observe is people staring at their phones. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of it myself. I’d much rather text someone than actually speak on the phone. I Tweet, I Instagram, I Facebook, I send an e-mail over making a phone call, I panic if I forget my Smartphone at home for a day. But damn it, I wish I could stop it. I want some good old-fashioned talking and getting to know people. I love hearing people’s stories. But I’m not even sure people know how to tell them any more, and that’s a little sad.

I don’t know how to change it. I don’t know if it’s even possible. But today, I think I’ll take the time to stop and talk to a stranger. And maybe sit a spell with some sweet tea. Wait… I’m not from the South. Never mind. Can Chicagoans sit a spell? I think I should bring sittin’ a spell back. Kinda like a front porch-sittin’ Justin Timberlake. Except a chick. I don’t know, just go with it.


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Posted by on October 1, 2013 in Humor, Life


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