Why Friends Are Better Than Dates

27 Mar

I haven’t written anything in a while, I know. I haven’t really been inspired. You ever get like that? Like, you WANT to write something. You know you have decent grammar skills and are mildly amusing in spurts. But there’s just nothin’? Yeah. That. Anyway, after my recent dumpage, (See a couple blogs back. Some dumbass dumped me. Pfft. Whatevs. He may have briefly hurt me, but he’ll never take my Chunky Monkey.) I told myself I was taking a long dating hiatus to focus on my upcoming 10 mile run from hell. However, I got these new glasses that make me look all sexy librarian-like, and ever since, I’m beating dudes off with a stick. I probably shouldn’t have used ‘beating’ and ‘off’ in the same sentence regarding dating, but whatever. You know what I meant. So, I’ve been doing a smattering of flirting and such, which I guess is what single chicks are supposed to do, and just the other day, I was discussing a recent potential date with my friend Donna. Donna is a great friend. I think she gets pissed at me because I complain to her I’m fat all the time, but that I really want a cheeseburger, and somehow she puts up with my rants, and then says that she’s just done with me. It’s much less harsh than it sounds. Anyway, I thought I’d share one of our recent conversations, because it’s definitely share-worthy:

Me: “He used the wrong ‘your’, and you know how I feel about that.”

Donna: “Paula, some people are just better in person than in messages. You should give him a chance.”

Me: “I don’t know. He seems like he may ok. But he called me ‘babe’ in his last message to me. Like, who does that? Babe? Who says that? It reminds me of some male chauvinist dude with gold chains and an overabundance of chest hair.”

Donna: “I don’t mind ‘babe’. I mean, it’s better than ‘cunt’ or something.”

Gotta admit, she has a point.

And this, people, is why friends are better than dates.

I rest my case.

The End


Posted by on March 27, 2014 in Humor, Life


Tags: , , , , , , ,

10 responses to “Why Friends Are Better Than Dates

  1. Phil Taylor

    March 27, 2014 at 1:21 am

    You are completely right about the guy. Using the wrong your and calling you babe indicate a clear lack of intelligence. You can do better.


  2. unchainedsoul

    March 27, 2014 at 4:25 am

    At least he didn’t call you “cunt”. HAHA, classic. I love best friends πŸ™‚


  3. Grant "G-Money" Carlson

    March 27, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Nice post babe.
    (wink. snort. hitch up of my pants. little shoulder-oriented swagger move)

    Yeah, us dudes know what you ladies want.


    • paulasg75

      March 27, 2014 at 9:51 pm

      All I really want is someone with excellent grammar, who will call me pretty and feed me booze. Why’s that gotta be so difficult, man?


      • Kathleen

        March 29, 2014 at 7:37 pm

        And IS a guy. Don’t leave that part out, otherwise you are gonna get some emails.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. longchaps2

    April 11, 2014 at 11:31 pm

    A midget that calls me Babe, you actually just named my PERFECT partner. Just don’t tell my husband, lol. ( He already calls me Babe though). LOVE your blog. So funny. I’m hooked.


    • paulasg75

      April 11, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      Holy crap, thank you! That’s so nice to hear! I’ll get around to reading yours as soon as I’m done getting drunk for the evening, I promise. πŸ™‚


      • longchaps2

        April 11, 2014 at 11:40 pm

        Lol, no hurry. Large amounts of alcohol might improve the reading though….



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