Is That A Studfinder In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

10 Feb


Well, it’s that time again, folks! No, I’m not talking about Valentine’s Day, although, less than one week until giant Hershey’s Kisses go on clearance! Woot! Anyway, what I meant was that it’s time for another edition of Quotes From The Lumber Yard! I know, I know… It’s been a while. But this Polar Vortex shit really takes a toll on us in the lumber business, and, to be honest, most of our sentences involve, “Holy shit, it’s cold.”, or just a Chewbacca/Sasquatch-like series of painful-sounding grunts. But I did manage to scrape together a few quotes somehow, even though my coworkers are now privy to the fact that this blog exists, and are seemingly in some sort of competition to make it into my blog. “Paula, did you hear that?! Write that down! Write that down!” *Sigh* Thankfully, there is no swimsuit competition involved, because nobody wants to see that. Trust me. Anyway… On to the quotes!

“He had trouble with the damn thing going up and staying up.”

It’s perfectly normal for a man your age.

“The chips they put behind our ears allow us to get 50 yards away before the dogs get us.”

This blog is a cry for help. Someone come save us. Katniss! Peeta!

“You have my permission to violate my locker.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I enjoy a good locker violation during work hours.

” “Ah, I’ve done many things myself…”, he reminisced fondly.”

Just walk away, Paula. Walk. Away.

“You gave birth! That thing’s HUGE!”

I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies!

“That can’s gonna freeze on your lips!”

The Polar Vortex: Freezing cans to lips since early 2014.

“What’s a cornjerker look like?”

I’d actually kind of like to know the answer to this one.

“Do you have something you want me to jump on?”

Not something you want to hear at work, unless there’s a jumpy castle around. Which would actually be pretty cool. I should bring that up at the next meeting.

“That’s a good-sized unit.”

Thanks… I, uhhh, just had it stuffed?

“Some of ’em are loose, and some of ’em aren’t.”

Also describes my graduating class, actually.

“He has a problem with his explosion. There’s a delay there.”

Again… It’s perfectly normal.

This is starting to reaffirm that fact that although it gets stressful at times, and it’s certainly not glamorous, I really, really love my job. Or at least  my coworkers, without whom this blog would not be possible. It also reaffirms the fact that I may be a 12 year old boy trapped inside a 38 year old woman. Whatevs.

Ha ha… I said ‘unit’ up there.


Posted by on February 10, 2014 in Humor, Life


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “Is That A Studfinder In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

  1. The Waiting

    February 10, 2014 at 2:40 am

    That settles it. I need to get a job in a lumber yard.


    • paulasg75

      February 10, 2014 at 10:57 pm

      I could use an assistant, as long as you don’t mind getting paid in Tic Tacs and hugs.


      • The Waiting

        February 11, 2014 at 12:59 am

        Throw in a box of Pop Tarts and you’ve got yourself a deal.


        • paulasg75

          February 11, 2014 at 3:31 pm

          Frosted or unfrosted?


          • The Waiting

            February 11, 2014 at 4:32 pm

            Unfrosted, all the way. Highly underrated.


            • paulasg75

              February 11, 2014 at 10:07 pm

              I agree. The frosting is just overkill.



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